Tuesday, October 25, 2011

What I want to be when grow up

     It seems like people always ask me this question: what I plan on doing once the kids are all in school or when I need to go back to work. My youngest is only 6 months, so I'm not sure why they are so concerned, but they are. I sometimes feel like when I tell people I am a stay at home mom it's not enough and they are waiting to hear more or there is an awkward pause in the conversation, that I usually fill by telling them I used to be a teacher because I feel like I need to say something. I'm not sure if it's because people without kids feel like they will have nothing to talk to you about or if they just can't relate to it. I know there will be a day I need to go back to work and I hope it will be later rather then sooner, but I'm not sure why I feel like when I tell people I am a stay at home mom it's not enough.
     I love being a stay at home mom and my days are busier now then when I was working. I really couldn't picture doing anything else right now. I did briefly go back to work when Liam was six months old and I worked for about six months. The whole time I was miserable I was teaching at a school in a horrible neighborhood and my whole day was spent disciplining children who did not want to listen. Everyday all I thought is I could be spending time with my kid instead of being stressed out all day. Then I would feel horrible because when I got home I was so exhausted I didn't feel like I was being a great mom.
     I know staying at home isn't for everyone and in no way am I saying one is better then the other because I know there may come a day when I do need to work again, but for now this works best for our family. We have made some sacrifices, but in the long run I feel they are for the best since I get to be home with my kids.
      I have thought of what I will do one day when they are all back in school because I know as they get older things will start to cost more and I will need to work at least part time. I hope I can find something I can do from home or close by because I still want to be able to be around when they are sick or have days off. I just can't decide what it is I want to do. I'm pretty sure I don't want to teach anymore, I did enjoy it and I think it taught me a lot especially about children, but I'm just not sure it's what I really want to do especially after I hear stories from my teacher friends. I was debating going back to school to get my masters in something, but what? I don't want to spend a ton of money on school for something I'm not passionate about or something I will not be able to find a job in. I think part of the problem is all the things I would like to do are difficult careers to get into or at least make a living  doing. Through doing this blog I have realized I would love to do something in writing or even design. Preferably writing, which is funny because as a kid I always wanted to be a writer and constantly wrote poems and short stories, but somehow I forgot how much I enjoyed it. I really do love writing and if I can find a way to make a somewhat decent living doing it that would be awesome, but for now I love being a stay at home mom. I feel like this is exactly where I should be right now and know I am lucky to be able to do it. Even though some days I may complain, I truly love being able to be with my children because I know I can never get these moments back and before you know it they will be gone.

9 comments:

  1. I get the same thing. I feel like I need to clarify that I'm not *just* a stay at home mom. But really...its the best. hardest job I've ever had. And I have no idea how I'll go back to work after this...nothing will compare! :)

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  2. Hi new follower from the blog hop
    great blog nice to meet you
    if you have time pop over and visit me
    www.jollyjillys.blogspot.com

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  3. I feel the same way! I work at home, but being here NOW for my kids is something they need and I need. I would totally regret not being here.

    I am your newest follower btw :) Nice to meet you.

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  4. I'm so glad you are where you need/want to be. Staying home with your kids is one of the most important "jobs" in the world, and I'm sorry people make you feel like it's not enough. I WISH I could stay at home, but for now, my husband does it- and believe me, his job is more difficult than mine!
    I also wanted to bbe a writer when I was a kid- that, and a cashier, lol.

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  5. Hi, I found you through Clairejustine's blog hop. I am pregnant and have a 4 year old. I worked from home for most of my four year olds life though found I wasn't getting very far with anything as my time was so stretched around my girl and my health. I am now trying very hard to not work and take time out and enjoy the time I have with my daughter and new babe to come. I decided to start a blog to keep my head and fingers busy. I am also writing a story though I am not doing any of it by a schedule and it fits around family time much better than working. It's what we need just now and like you say it's right for us as a family.

    Wow i've gone on a bit there lol hope to see you over on my blog myrustyhalos.wordpress.com xx

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  6. I've been struggling with this myself. I know what I want to be when I grow up but it's just not happening fast enough for my liking. I'm just going to stay on it and hope for the best!

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  7. I know what you mean about having people act like that when you say you're a stay at home mother. I am too, but now I have started doing daycare out of my house, I declare myself a "professional blogger" in a loose way, but other people don't know that lol I do get paid just a very very very little amount lol!!

    New follower via the hop, nice to meet you!

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  8. I get those questions all the time, but they are always tied to when I'm going to stop homeschooling the boys and put them into school. You have to do what is best for YOUR family and no one else.

    Thanks for linking into last week's Curious Hop. This week's is up and we'd love to have you join us.

    http://daybydayinourworld.com/2011/10/wednesday-curious-hop-week-6/

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  9. I feel the EXACT same way as you do, Jessica. I JUST stopped working (after going back for only 7 months) and I can't tell you how much of a relief it is. I need to be at home with my little one when he is young. It is just something that I had always thought I would do... and more little ones? lol.

    But seriously. I cannot imagine working 40+ hours a week outside of the home and liking it -- even when he (they) are all in school.

    We'll just see where time takes us, huh? :)

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