It seems like people always ask me this question: what I plan on doing once the kids are all in school or when I need to go back to work. My youngest is only 6 months, so I'm not sure why they are so concerned, but they are. I sometimes feel like when I tell people I am a stay at home mom it's not enough and they are waiting to hear more or there is an awkward pause in the conversation, that I usually fill by telling them I used to be a teacher because I feel like I need to say something. I'm not sure if it's because people without kids feel like they will have nothing to talk to you about or if they just can't relate to it. I know there will be a day I need to go back to work and I hope it will be later rather then sooner, but I'm not sure why I feel like when I tell people I am a stay at home mom it's not enough.
I love being a stay at home mom and my days are busier now then when I was working. I really couldn't picture doing anything else right now. I did briefly go back to work when Liam was six months old and I worked for about six months. The whole time I was miserable I was teaching at a school in a horrible neighborhood and my whole day was spent disciplining children who did not want to listen. Everyday all I thought is I could be spending time with my kid instead of being stressed out all day. Then I would feel horrible because when I got home I was so exhausted I didn't feel like I was being a great mom.
I know staying at home isn't for everyone and in no way am I saying one is better then the other because I know there may come a day when I do need to work again, but for now this works best for our family. We have made some sacrifices, but in the long run I feel they are for the best since I get to be home with my kids.
I have thought of what I will do one day when they are all back in school because I know as they get older things will start to cost more and I will need to work at least part time. I hope I can find something I can do from home or close by because I still want to be able to be around when they are sick or have days off. I just can't decide what it is I want to do. I'm pretty sure I don't want to teach anymore, I did enjoy it and I think it taught me a lot especially about children, but I'm just not sure it's what I really want to do especially after I hear stories from my teacher friends. I was debating going back to school to get my masters in something, but what? I don't want to spend a ton of money on school for something I'm not passionate about or something I will not be able to find a job in. I think part of the problem is all the things I would like to do are difficult careers to get into or at least make a living doing. Through doing this blog I have realized I would love to do something in writing or even design. Preferably writing, which is funny because as a kid I always wanted to be a writer and constantly wrote poems and short stories, but somehow I forgot how much I enjoyed it. I really do love writing and if I can find a way to make a somewhat decent living doing it that would be awesome, but for now I love being a stay at home mom. I feel like this is exactly where I should be right now and know I am lucky to be able to do it. Even though some days I may complain, I truly love being able to be with my children because I know I can never get these moments back and before you know it they will be gone.