Exhausted

     I am utterly exhausted. I feel like the last few days have been an emotional roller coaster. Now  I feel drained. I haven't really been sharing much because I didn't want to say anything until we really knew what was going on. Before I posted about how we were hoping to move, you can read it here. So we made the decision to rent our place out and find a new place. Things seemed to be working out perfectly we talked to a mortgage broker and financially had things lined up and our neighbor whose lease was up in a couple months wanted to rent out place, so we felt good.
    We went out looking at homes and I loved the first one we saw, but I wanted to keep looking just to make sure. I kept thinking about that first house and knew it would be perfect for us. It was 4 bedrooms,  plus an office, 2 baths and about twice the size of our current home. I knew there were a couple things I would like it to have, but it didn't like central air and a larger space for eating, but these were all things I knew I could live with and I knew with our budget it was the perfect fit. From the moment I walked in I could picture raising our family there.
    After many talks with my husband we decided we were going to put an offer on it Saturday night.  I kept putting it off since I was nervous because it felt like such a big decision. Finally I made a few phone calls and found out some things changed and we were no longer going to be able to get a loan.  I was devastated to say the least. I was so excited and I couldn't believe how perfectly things were falling into place and then all of a sudden everything changed. So, I guess I've been mourning what could have been or what I thought was going to happen. We have been talking to our broker to see if there was a way we could still do it, but unfortunately it doesn't look like a possibility anymore.
     I know maybe it wasn't meant to be, but I really loved that house and thought we were going to be able to move. We had the preapproval and everything, but things change. So I'm trying my hardest to get out of this funk. I know I have been short with my kids and stressed due to this and I'm trying to get over it and just enjoy holidays.
     Usually I would have had my Christmas card done and all my gifts, but this has been consuming my brain so all those other things have been lacking. I am trying to get over this and get back on track. I finally made gifts for Liam's teachers just in the nick of time since his last day is tomorrow. I made hot cocoa mix in mason jars you can get the recipe here. I did it in pint size jars, so I just cut everything in half. I tried some and it's really delicious you won't be disappointed or be able to go back to the premade stuff after trying it. Maybe not the best picture, but I was in a hurry.

     Now after finishing that and spending almost an hour looking for my lost phone my house is a disaster, which I would usually try to clean because I hate waking up to a dirty house. I decided not to tonight though, I am off to relax for a bit before I go to bed and enjoy another cup of hot cocoa. Goodnight!

  


And here's one of the kids to enjoy:)