Thursday, October 27, 2011

Wanting what you don't have

     I hate to admit this and I know it is a horrible quality, but I think sometimes everyone thinks about things they wish they had. If only I had a bigger house, nicer car, better job, and so on. I'm sure everyone has something they want, but don't have. I try to focus on all the positive things that are in my life my wonderful and healthy children, my amazing husband, friends, and family. I know I have many blessings and not much to complain about, so when I find myself thinking; If only we had this or that I get mad at myself because I know my life is pretty good and I hate when I waste my time focused on silly things because I know that's what they really are.
     It all started yesterday I read someones Facebook page that had great news on it and I got upset. Why? I really couldn't tell you, they are only an acquaintance of mine and there is no reason I should be upset because good things are happening in their life, if it wasn't for Facebook I probably wouldn't even know what was going on in her life. I do try to be positive, but sometimes it feels like some people always have pots of gold at the end of their rainbows and others get buckets of coal. In no way is this a poor me post, but more of me venting and being frustrated with myself for letting little things bother me. I am trying to get better at this, but I still have moments where someone will say "we just sold our house in 3 months" and I get those feelings of jealousy and think why couldn't that be us.
      I am trying hard to focus on all the positives in our lives, but these feelings sometimes creep in. Then I think if only we did this instead or maybe if we didn't do that things would have worked out better.  I know I can't base my life on would of, should of, or could of it's not healthy for me or my family. I just waste too much time second guessing decisions we have made or getting stressed over little things. I don't remember always being this way and I'm not really sure when it happened.
     I know I need to spend more time focusing on what we do have and living in the moment, but sometimes it is easier said then done. I want to be the best mom I can for my children and I know when I am focusing on other negative feelings I am irritable and not being a great mom. Then I feel guilt for being short with my kids, impatient, or not as understanding as I should be. As a mom I know sometimes I can get caught up in all the everyday stresses of life getting places on time, keeping the house clean, paying bills, grocery shopping. The list goes on and on. In the end though if we are 5 minutes late to school or the dishes aren't done, I know it's not the end of the world, and I need to try to remind myself that in the moment so I do not get so stressed.
    I debated if I should actually post this because this is not something I am proud of and I don't typically share this with other people, besides my husband. This is something I am working on though because I want to be more appreciative for all we have and I thought this was the perfect time to post it with Thanksgiving around the corner. I am also going to try to post what things I am thankful for at least once a week as a reminder to myself of all I have to be thankful for. I'm sure these feelings of jealousy will creep up from time to time, but I am going to try to learn how to not let them affect me anymore. I am also going to work on becoming a more understanding mom and not get so stressed out. My only problem is since I am alone with them most days all day and night I don't get a break, so by dinner time my patience is wearing thin and I need to work on that. I can't imagine how military wives do it when their husbands are deployed. If you have any tips or advice feel free to leave them. Thanks for reading my long rant and also I just want to thank all my awesome followers I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy day to read my little blog. I also love reading your comments, it puts a huge smile on my face and always brightens my day. Thanks:)
    
  

16 comments:

  1. OK, you are totally not alone here. THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME ABOUT A YEAR AGO: I was reading my facebook friends status updates, one of them had good news for that friend, and I got angry. Angry. Because someone else got good news. And that's not who I am... but that's what I felt.

    So yeah, you have company. I worry if I will always want something better... you know, we always think that the next thing we're waiting for (that raise, a new car, new shoes, whatever) will be the thing that makes us happy. And maybe we're happy for a few minutes. And then we want something else.

    This turned into a longer comment than I thought it would... to sum it all up, you are not alone!

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  2. This is something I struggle with daily! I actually stopped going on Facebook for a while because I was getting jealous over such silly things! I think its human nature! When I catch myself being negative I try to redirect my thoughts but its so hard!! Its good to know I'm not alone! :)

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  3. I get moments like that too hooker!

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  4. I totally understand how you feel. I always wonder about those "I am so happy and life is so great" posts. Maybe they are just BS. Some people just brag for attention- Oops... am I being negative again... LOL
    You're not alone!

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  5. This blog post really hit home. I also struggle with this a lot. Sometimes it's hard not to compare and want more. It's that wanting more that drives us to work harder (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). It's just all about balance. Here is a quote from the Dalai Lama that I thought was good. It helps keep me centered.

    The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, he said:

    “Man.
    Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
    Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
    And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present;
    the result being that he does not live in the present or the future;
    he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived

    Stopping by from the blog hop. I'm a new follower. Hope you can check me out at
    thecheesethief.blogspot.com

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  6. Hi Jessica! I'm hopping over from the Lots of Lovin' Blog Hop and I'm now following :)
    This was a good post and one that many many women can relate to so I don't think you're alone in that. And good for you for sharing! I think no matter how fortunate we are we will always see other things that would also make us happy, it's probably just human nature. I don't think you aren't thankful, you just want the best for your family.
    Have a happy weekend :)

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  7. Newest follower from MBC blog hop- Hope you can visit and follow me back:)

    http://www.cassandrasminicorner.com
    http://www.loveablecassandra.com
    http://www.mommys4seasonsjourney.com
    http://www.sweethomephilippines.com
    http://www.heavenly-dreams.com



    Kindly, refresh the page if gfc page won't appear..

    Thank's and have a great day:)

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  8. Oh boy, Jessica. It seems that we WERE on the same page yesterday, huh?

    I can relate to this SO much. I struggle with envy/jealousy way more than I'd like to admit. It's definitely not a pretty thing, but we're only human, right?

    I think the most important thing to take away from this is that you RECOGNIZE it and you're trying to better yourself. That's so important and such a big step to take.

    Here's to us clearing this hurtle! Have a good weekend! :)

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  9. Hi New email subscriber from Feed Me Friday!!

    Karen
    Mommy's Moments
    http://www.avonbykaren.blogspot.com

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  10. Hi New email subscriber from Feed Me Friday!!

    Karen
    Mommy's Moments
    http://www.avonbykaren.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Following from the blog hop, hope you can stop by!

    http://blog.polkadotelephant.com/

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  12. I have only just recently found your blog but wanted to say that this post and the one about "just" being a stay at home mum - I can totally relate to! It is like you are writing for me! xx

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  13. We all have been there! Good for you for putting it out there. This is my life often. I am a new follower and look forward to reading your blog. your kids are adorable!

    heather
    www.ourgirlskeepusmoving.blogspot.com

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  14. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way, I think we all go through it. You really need to forgive yourself for these negative feelings and accept that it's human nature and ok that you are not perfect. And bravo for writing it down and putting it out there. Like I said, you're not alone. I feel this way more than I care to admit, especially since I've been sick. My weekly Thankful Thursday posts actually help me to stay focused on the good. I highly recommend it!

    Christina

    Thank you for linking up with the Getting to Know You Friday Blog Hop! New follower.

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  15. I have been there! Good for you for writing this. Just know you are not alone. Txs for linking up!

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