Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Love and Marriage
I read a great post today about marriage. You can read it here. I love how open and honest it is. Marriage is something that has always scared me, in my whole family there is only one couple who is still married. Most have divorced, some widowed so that's a different situation. Overall I never really had the experience of seeing a couple that stays together through good and bad times and still loved one another. It just seemed when things got bad they gave up. Not that I am saying there is anything wrong with divorce, I understand some relationships just don't work.
My parents separated when I was 5 and then later divorced, so I barely remember their relationship. In my personal experience I haven't seen too many marriages last. Ones that I thought were strong, were later broken by infidelity or other problems. When I got married I always had the fear in the back of my mind that what if this didn't last. I tend run when there are problems or call it quits, but this isn't something that works in a marriage and therefore something I have been working on. I know a marriage takes work and compromise and at times may not be easy, but when those times come I know I am willing to work hard to make it through. Not only for us, but also our children because I know from my own experience all I ever wanted was for my parents to be together. Now as I am older I understand why they didn't stay together, but at the time it was hard and all I wanted was for mommy and daddy to be together.
I think with having kids, worrying about financial issues, work, cleaning house, and many of the everyday things that take up all our time it is easy to not put focus on your relationship. In the beginning it seems like all you have is nothing but time to be together, but now those times are few and far between and usually someone is exhausted by the time you are alone. We have realized though that making time for our relationship, makes us better parents and have tried to go on dates more.
Sometimes I think while blogging we just tend to share all the good parts of our lives because the rest is hard to share and personal. Even though it is hard I feel it can be threaputic and inspiring to others. Greta's post inspired me and is something I will definitely think of when times get hard. In a world where having a marriage that lasts is fairly uncommon, there are not many at least in my life to go to for advice. I hope in 20 years we can look back and see all the good even through the difficult times and grow to love each other more then we do now.