Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Where did I go?
So you may think I'm talking about our vacation, and there will be a post of that soon, but right now I'm talking about me as an individual. Being away made me realize that I am more then just a mom. For the past 3 plus years I have been thrown into the chaos that is mommyhood, and I think somewhere in there I lost a part of myself. You spend so much time focused on your children's needs that you forget about your own.
Don't get me wrong I love being a mom more then anything, but sometimes I forget there was so much more to me before I was a mom and somehow I need to find time to do things that interest me. For one, blogging has done this for me, even though I do write about my kids a lot I feel like this is an outlet for me that is all mine. I think being able to talk open and honestly has helped me to rediscover who I am. I also have decided that I am going to be more creative and get my but in gear to open my etsy shop soon. I do have a facebook page if you want to check it out here. I still need to add other items on it and hope to soon. I realized I missed being creative I've always done some kind of art or craft throughout my life, but that ended once I had children. Now I'm going to try to do more when I have time, but I don't have much that's part of the problem.
On a similar note, on vacation I was talking to my husband and telling him how I feel like I don't own any clothes I like since having kids, somewhere I think I lost my sense of style as well. The thing was he agreed, he said he didn't want to say something and hurt my feelings but he noticed the things I wear aren't like anything I used to. I used to own clothes I like, but now I feel guilty buying clothes. I always feel like I could spend money on something else, plus I'm always waiting to hopefully lose more weight so I don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes. Also I was pretty much pregnant for 2 years straight and really didn't want to invest much in maternity clothes. So I feel like I lost my sense of style and I know clothes don't make you who you are, but if you wear clothes you like you feel more confident and better about your body. On a day to day basis I do wear comfy clothes, since I get spit up on half the day, but when I go out I do try to dress up a bit more. So while on vacation I went to stores I used to shop at and found stuff I liked and bought some items, (in gasp) much bigger sizes then I used to. Even though I wasn't happy about that part, I am happy to have some stuff I like to wear. I think the hardest part for me is to try to accept the weight I am now. I'm still working out 4-6 days a week and trying to eat better if you disregard vacation eating, but I know losing weight is going to be a long journey. I will keep you updated on any weight loss, still debating if I should get a scale I'm afraid I might become obsessive. Would love to hear any tips if you have them:)