Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Where did I go?

  




  So you may think I'm talking about our vacation, and there will be a post of that soon, but right now I'm talking about me as an individual.  Being away made me realize that I am more then just a mom.  For the past 3 plus years I have been thrown into the chaos that is mommyhood, and I think somewhere in there I lost a part of myself.  You spend so much time focused on your children's needs that you forget about your own.
     Don't get me wrong I love being a mom more then anything, but sometimes I forget there was so much more to me before I was a mom and somehow I need to find time to do things that interest me.  For one, blogging has done this for me, even though I do write about my kids a lot I feel like this is an outlet for me that is all mine. I think being able to talk open and honestly has helped me to rediscover who I am.  I also have decided that I am going to be more creative and get my but in gear to open my etsy shop soon.  I do have a facebook page if you want to check it out here. I still need to add other items on it and hope to soon.  I realized I missed being creative I've always done some kind of art or craft throughout my life, but that ended once I had children.  Now I'm going to try to do more when I have time, but I don't have much that's part of the problem.
     On a similar note, on vacation I was talking to my husband and telling him how I feel like I don't own any clothes I like since having kids, somewhere I think I lost my sense of style as well.  The thing was he agreed, he said he didn't want to say something and hurt my feelings but he noticed the things I wear aren't like anything I used to.  I used to own clothes I like, but now I feel guilty buying clothes.  I always feel like I could spend money on something else, plus I'm always waiting to hopefully lose more weight so I don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes.  Also I was pretty much pregnant for 2 years straight and really didn't want to invest much in maternity clothes.  So I feel like I lost my sense of style and I know clothes don't make you who you are, but if you wear clothes you like you feel more confident and better about your body.  On a day to day basis I do wear comfy clothes, since I get spit up on half the day, but when I go out I do try to dress up a bit more.  So while on vacation I went to stores I used to shop at and found stuff I liked and bought some items, (in gasp) much bigger sizes then I used to.  Even though I wasn't happy about that part, I am happy to have some stuff I like to wear.  I think the hardest part for me is to try to accept the weight I am now. I'm still working out 4-6 days a week and trying to eat better if you disregard vacation eating, but I know losing weight is going to be a long journey. I will keep you updated on any weight loss, still debating if I should get a scale I'm afraid I might become obsessive. Would love to hear any tips if you have them:)

9 comments:

  1. Oh man, I definitely don't have any tips! I'm not even a parent yet, but I'm afraid of exactly what you're writing about! But I think you're still in there, you just haven't seen yourself in awhile. And I bet your kids would want to see who you are, not just as their mother. Love your blog, am a new follower, good luck in your journey!

    http://marleeindebt.blogspot.com/

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  2. Hi,

    Lovely blog! I'm your newest follower! Hope you can follow me back :)

    http://mygorgeouspinkcheeks.blogspot.com/

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  3. Oh, Jessica!

    How I can relate to you! To ALL of it! What you wrote about weight and clothes - I have completely lost my sense of style as well. I used to SO ENJOY shopping, going to the mall twice a week. Now... I haven't been... since Christmas shopping? I just feel too guilty spending money on myself. I know my husband misses the way I used to look, too... It's a battle. I don't want to buy new clothes because of the money, and I don't want to buy new clothes because I am a size and a half (no, not quite 2! lol - I'll hold on to that HALF) bigger than I used to be.

    If you find the secret to losing the pesky last pounds, let me know. I just get so frustrated with everything I try!

    Good for you reclaiming yourself! I am inspired! :)

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  4. LOVE your site! This is a fab post. I think there are a lot of women in the same boat :)

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  5. I don't have children, but i have two nephews, 16 and 3 and i have to say, keeping up with a 3 year old is TOUGH! and he's an only child - two would be-whew!
    Found you through the MMSH! "liking" your FB page also!
    www.get-fit-naturally.org and facebook.com/getfitnaturally

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  6. Beautiful. Life's a rollercoaster - that's all I can say. Hope you have time to stop by my place again soon :)

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  7. Hi I love your blog title! Found you on the wed. blog hop and am following you, hope you`ll follow back. http://ontheoldpath.com/

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  8. Oh, been there, my dear, and am still there, with a 6 and 7 year old, though it's gotten a little easier now that they're both in school. But am on vacation now and a lot of your own ruminations are my own. I will be blogging about my vacation as well, as I struggle even with that -- how I just want some time alone for myself! visiting from u cup of joe's blog hop.

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  9. So glad you did something for yourself! It's easy to get into the mommy mode where we come last, but for the benefit of our loved ones, we should come higher in the line!

    Following from the Alexa hop.

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