Thoughts on Having a C-section

        Wow, I can't believe it's already been over two months since my last post. I guess you could say I took a little blogging break over the holidays. Every time I try to write a post it seems like there is so much to say it comes out a jumbled mess.
      I am 30 weeks pregnant and will be meeting this guy in about 9 weeks I can't believe it. I will be having a scheduled c-section since all my others were c-sections as well. I struggled with this alot in the beginning of this pregnancy since I know it may be my last and I always read these amazing birth stories and think wow I wish mine could have been like that. I looked into finding a doctor who would do a VBA3C which was almost impossible. In the end though I switched providers and have an awesome midwife now and am planning a gentle cesarean. If you have never seen one you should look it up on you tube especially if you are having a c-section. I think for me at least it will make me feel more a part of the birthing experience and not like it is just a surgery. I never had any real complaints about where my doctors that I had my boys with, but I wish I would have found the midwife I have now sooner it makes such a difference to have a health care provider who you feel comfortable with and you feel like truly cares. At about 18 weeks I talked to her about how disappointed I felt with my other birthing experiences and ended up in tears, which is something I never would have done with my other doctor. After that I felt so much better about what we have planned for this birth and she even encouraged me and gave me the names to other providers if I wanted to explore having a VBA3C further. So after the birth I will make sure to write about it because I feel for me ti will be a healing experience after wishing for a vaginal birth and regretting my decisions and knowledge at the time of my first pregnancy.