Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Poop Wars

  So we have been having a war at our house and I'm afraid to say that I am losing. At this point I am at a loss of what to do next and have raised the white flag.
     Our oldest, Liam turned 4 on Leap Day. He has been potty trained since right before he turned 3, but pooping has always been an issue for him. Even as a baby once he started solids he would only poop every few days and they would be huge and hard. TMI I know, but if you're a mom you are surrounded by this all day. When we first started potty training he would still go poo in his underwear sometimes, and had a fear of using the toilet, but after a couple months he got the hang of it and was good to go. Don't get me wrong he would still hold it for as long as he could, but when he needed to go he would use the toilet or be bribed to do so.
      This past couple of weeks though he has just told me he no longer wants to poo on the toilet. I know part of it is fear because since he holds it so long it hurts. Trust me we give this kid lots of food that will help him go, but still he waits and dances around trying to hold it in.
    Once he starts dancing around I know he has to go. So Monday he started dancing around before school and I made him try to go he sat on the toilet for 30 minutes crying then got off and sat on the floor. Luckily Jack came home and helped me and sat him back on the toilet, he screamed but after a while he finally went. Then today he was dancing around again and I had him sit on the toilet, but he didn't go. Then when he was in the bath, he told me he pooped in there. The hard part is it didn't even bother him. When he used to have accidents he would feel bad and I could tell it bothered him. Now he doesn't seem to care and actually said I could just put a diaper on him if I want to. I feel like we've tried everything: rewards, punishment, praise, ignoring, giving attention when he does it and now I'm at a loss. I know besides the fear part of it may be a control issue, but we do let him have many choices whenever possible. I feel like we are at a stand still and all of a sudden we are back to where we were in the beginning, but at least back then rewards worked.  I just needed to vent, but if you have any advice it would be appreciated.


  1. My daughter has never been that keen to poo in the loo, she decided she did not need nappies (diapers)at 20mths but pooing was an issue, she too would hold on till it was agony to go. This went on until last summer, when she turned 3. I discovered that if I went to the loo with her and stood in front of her and let her hold on to my legs and rest her head on my legs she would go. We still do that if I am about but if I am not she will go on her own, no more holding on! This is a bit disgusting but we used to have a good look at the poo and talk about it so she realised that it was not something to be scared of!

  2. Oh I so know what your going through. My 4 year old has been potty trained since he was 3.5 and at first did good with the pooping. But one day he just started going in his pants and that continued until just a couple months ago. We tried everything also. He would cry and we would make him sit on the toilet. Then one day he just went by himself. We praised him and took him to buy a new toy. So things have been good but recently he has been having some accidents....pee and poop in the pants because he is just lazy and gets involved with his toys. Potty training is so frustrating!!! Hang in there and he will come around:))

  3. My niece is almost three and she is still in diapers because she is afraid of the toilet. My five year old niece would have accidents because she was too busy playing and didn't want to go to the bathroom. Maybe you should try one of those little kid potties along with some poop books such as, "Everybody Poops."

  4. He really is very adorable though!